Hello Reader, if you're reading this (if anyone is reading my blog posts at all), I can only guess that you are a product of a broken home as well or you're just curious on what I've written for the week. If you belong to the first of my guesses, I'd like to thank you for taking your time to read this. I appreciate it. I hope that what I have to say will give you more courage to face the world than you already have.
Truth to be told, I've been mulling over what to write this past week. The topics of health, my out-of-college memories, my dilemmas in the office (which I doubt I'll ever get the chance to write about since it wouldn't be professional of me to do so), and health came to mind as I was brainstorming. I cannot stress more on my out-of-college experiences in Manila, and I'm sure as hell not writing about my relationship. It's close to ideal, why elaborate, right? Then, I stumbled on a particular topic that I was never comfortable writing about: my family (or what's left of it).
What you will be reading below is the content I've been working on for the past week in between shifts at work. I've been squeezing these bits of info as I go by my writing job at my regular 8-hour work shift:
It's funny how we learn to do the right things after experiencing something so messed up. When we've hit something on the road, that's when we learn to drive with caution. When we've been scammed pretty badly, we learn about the other types of people there are in the world: the ones who try their best not to hurt you and those who think only of themselves.
As you read through this post, I will not disclose as to why and how it ended. I can only elaborate the tiny little earthquakes it had caused afterwards and the lessons me and some of the people afflicted with the same reality have learned:
1. Relationships are hard work
We've all heard of this before.
2. We can't have two conflicting things in one lifetime
You can't put a mongoose and a king cobra inside a box and expect them to enjoy tea.
Yes, dear |
3. We know that marriage can sometimes feel like a business agreement
I haven't been married before, but seeing may parents', the vicious cycle has been gaining friends, losing friends, and gaining enemies altogether.
4. We learn to think things through before we jump right into situations
YOLO is another term for "I make bad decisions and like to wallow in it".
5. We tend to be attracted to the people who resemble the characteristics of the parent who neglected us
Through the past years, I've discovered that I like men whom are chubby combined with a wicked sense of humor. Familiar? Very.
6. Distractions are golden
Bad day? Books.
7. Attention and adoration are the icings to our cake
The people in my family talk non-stop, especially my grandmother who gives me all the attention (even the unwanted ones) that I can possibly hope for. Maybe I should move back to grandma's?
8. Paranoia feels like the air we breathe
Paranoia feels like the snotty fictional roommate who acts like your mother and breathes down your neck more than your mother does, asking you where you've been, what you've eaten for the whole day, and who that boy with you was.
9. Our trust issues are handy at most times
You (I'm excluding myself off this) are one of the lucky pickpocket virgins. Score!
Maybe that one time |
10. We know how to let go without having too much regrets
But it was on saaaaleeeee! Maybe this reflects on you?
11. We know which demographic is interested in hearing our dilemmas
Old people, in general.
12. You're probably at the top of the class
I'm not, but I know some people who were.
13. We know how to plan ahead
In high school, it was books before boys. Today, it's career before life-changing decisions.
14. We know that our expectations can break us
I'm mostly not overly romantic since that time I've stopped expecting anything from others. The plan was me not expecting anything and him doing the same, then I realized I didn't have the ability to control minds.
15. We know when to give and accept promises
We make it a point not to promise anything we doubt we'll be able to do. Or is that just me?
16. We know that some people can't let go of their childhood
Personality and toy collection-wise, I lose in this department.
17. We have mastered the art of not letting people's shit get to us
Your favorite blend wasn't available today and you want to let off steam on me? Not your lucky day, ma'am. I'm not taking requests.
18. We know how to channel anger properly
Please refer to #6.
19. We know how to raise parents
Because we've basically put up with the constant whining of each party and we know by heart which medicine they're sick of.
20. You know how to accept rejection better
Guy: I'm sorry. We just don't seem good for each other.
Me: You're probably right. This can't be more worse than that time I asked for child support for myself. Wanna get ice cream?
21. We've learned to be grateful for the things that stay constant in our lives
A roof over my head, a nice paying job, money on my bank account that can sustain me and my quirks, relatives who actually care, this isn't so bad.
22. We learn to be more sensitive of others
We don't just cringe when people cry, we sympathize and try to solve their problems that don't sum up to a quarter of ours. See #20.
23. We have this bitterness over insanely-privileged classmates who act like they don't need the education.
So, this fictional guy in high school had a nice family, a charming home, plenty of cars, and what does he do? His grades went rotten and he got into fights. I don't know his life's story, but there definitely is no reason for anyone to go berserk when their lifestyle is posh AF.
24. We know how to control/slay our demons
I've once had to deal with anger issues. Books saved me. Please refer to #6.
25. We know who our true friends are.
It's like sorting laundry. The ones who call you only when they need something are in the colored pile, while the ones who call you up for no reason at all/check up on you go into the white, untarnished pile.
26. We've grown more mature faster than the people in our age bracket
While they were YOLO-ing, we were discovering our inner woman in Austen's prized works. Kudos to the classics!
On guard, cockroach! |
27. We know how to take care of ourselves
Not only do we know how to cook, do laundry, and find clothes that suit us. We can also get into any company which we deem worthy for our skills and can provide us with the compensation enough for us to live independently.
28. We know how to guard ourselves emotionally
We know how to get out of awkward situations and how to turn down people the nicest way possible.
This is a skill not many people have.
Even Hawkeye is loving it. |
29. We laugh at the littlest problems we have
Because why not?
I'll just leave this right here |
30. The most important of all, we know that with the trustworthy connections and the right amount of effort, our future will be much better than our past
No explanation needed. And my fingers are sore already.
I hope my brainstorming has paid off. If you laughed, thank you! If you got disappointed about anything on the list, my apologies.
During the hardest moments of my experience, no one has ever told me that it will get this good once I'm done with college and living/paying for myself. So to anyone experiencing the hardships revolving around a family that's about to be broken, please love yourself and think things through. In a few years you'll be able to live by yourself (or with friends), spending the hard-earned money that you so deserve, and living every day without worrying about the stability of anything in your life.