Do you remember the last time you hit rock bottom? How did it make you feel? Worthless? Insecure? Unloved? Unworthy of any affection?



We millennials have found a variety of ways to express ourselves when we experience downfall. Some of us seek physical affection, empathy, satisfaction from food, and most of all, instant gratification. We get everything we want with a flick of a finger nowadays because the technology permits us to do so. If we want to get over a bad breakup, we binge on RomComs, contact friends through social media, or turn to food for solace which we can have delivered at our doorstep. When we get laid back at work, we use the same social media platform to contact friends to invite them out for a drink. When we don't get what we want in general, we find ways to get it. We should stop making excuses for the things we want to achieve because there's always a way to try to make it happen. We have so many tools for instant gratification that we forget to take a quick breather to soliloquize. Talk to yourself.

No matter how much distractions and friends we talk to, when our subconscious is bothered, it will never work out the way we want it to. We tend to overthink and to forget the bright side of things. It turns us into the most miserable version of ourselves. But it shouldn't be that way for so long. We need to provide an escape for ourselves, a closure if needed; because this time we have to do it alone.

So for your bothered subconscious who's telling you to give up and forsake yourself, repeat after me:

1. I will love like it's my last but will save some for myself

When we fall in love, we become enamored with the idea of sharing part of our soul with another being. So when it's lost, we feel like a part of it becomes missing, misplaced, or worse, stolen. And there's a good chance it's never coming back.

I will love myself and those who deserve it as if my life depended on it. I will allow myself to become so badly enveloped with love and so badly burnt when the hurt arises. I will allow myself to feel the kind of emotions that I have been neglecting myself to feel. I will feel the pain not because it's there, but because I am capable of human emotion. I am not made of steel, plastic, or something inorganic. I am human.

I will cry until my tears form a sea; until I reach the bottom of the deepest ocean filled with the saddest thoughts and memories I will be buried with. When I resurface, the ocean will cease to exist after I perceive the light. When the cold breeze blows through the horizon and tickles my flesh, I will be filled with thoughts of myself and how the future is brighter than the sun. Because I will let it. I will finally let it.



2. I promise not to let my anger speak for myself

I will slay the demons who linger in my head. I will bar the doors and will not allow them to consume me with evil thoughts I never thought I harbored. My mouth will be soldered shut with all the amount of love I have in me. I shall not speak of the atrocities that my subconscious harbors. For once, I will let love win.



3.  I promise to accept admiration in the best possible way 

I promise to accept all types of admiration as long as they are not offensive. I used to be annoyed with the guard at my office's building who always greeted me with "Magandang umaga, Mahal na Soraya" (Good morning, your Highness, Soraya) after learning that my first name meant royalty in Persian. I've realized recently that this wasn't a bad thing. Sure he shouted it at the top of his lungs in front of a throng of other people, but this guy was giving me attention. Even if I got embarassed a little bit, people began to know me. Random people from the elevator knew my name and would oftentimes greet me, too. I had forgotten how happy it made me to be noticed.

I will personally thank you when I find you.



4. I promise to stop saying no to new things

I am a lazy person. Every weekend all I think about is hoarding US TV series episodes to binge watch. When people message me to do stuff outside, my answer is an audible no. Sure I need to rest for a few days after 5 days of working, but what I've realized is that the stress from work has made me shut off my social circle. I have become the grinch without knowing it. So this time, if anything comes up that requires going out and spending a few bucks, I'm all for it. I'll lift my ass off the princess chair in front of my computer and get myself some sunshine.

I will see the world and travel with or without a companion. I will let the adventurer in me breathe.



5. I promise to surround myself with beauty and to breathe out positivity

I will stop talking about the little things that don't matter especially ones that do not require mine nor anyone's attention. No ugly news or bad statement will ruin my day or others' for that matter. Everyone wins.



6. I promise to live boldly and be brave

I will not take shit from the fiercest of all lions (metaphor). I will say anything on my mind at the appropriate time and place.



7. I promise to give myself the love and respect I truly deserve

Among all the people I've hurt, I've given myself the hardest time. I constantly feel guilty and I forsake myself for telling people the harsh truth even if I know deep inside that they deserve it. I won't allow myself to feel miserable because I know deep in my heart that I have friends and family who love and support me. So now, I promise that I will treat myself better the way God had intended me to experience.



8. I promise to take and give chances
As long as they're honest, sincere, and from the heart. I will not shy away. Chances are always limited. If it's a chance that can make me grow better as an adult, I won't hesitate to take or give it.



9. I promise to forgive but not forget
They say forgiveness is the highest form of love and given that it is the most special, it deserves to be received only for those who sincerely ask for it. I will definitely forgive in time but I will not forget. I will learn from my past mistakes and shield myself when necessary. I will not allow myself to be used for selfish intentions.



10. I promise to relive the moment and try again. 
I will allow myself to be lonely for a while. I will look back through all the happiest and the saddest moments, but I will not let them be a reflection of my future. I will go forth with my life and find the ultimate happiness I deserve. I will not let scorned lovers, torn friendships, or crazy corporate mishaps become the reason for my unhappiness. I will not close doors, but open new ones.



I hope your subconscious stops giving you a hard time sleeping, eating, or breathing. You just need to reprogram yourself and realign the course that your new life will take you. As I am going through this journey of healing and fixing everything that's broken, I hope that every millennial in the world who is experiencing any type of problem, easy or hard, will get the chance to reunite with themselves and discover the path to recovery. I wish everyone the best of luck. You are all in my prayers.

Here's a bonus, say this mantra every time you wake up:

You are smart, beautiful, and worth it. Chin up, you marvelous being. The day awaits your glory.

This is the last one. I promise.