Soraya Left Manila

11 Unusual Things I Hope For This 2017

Before anything else, I understand that this post is more than a month and 11 days late. I'll cut this short by getting right to the subject of the things I hope to see, hear, and do in 2017. I don't like making resolutions, so treat this list as a summary of my wildest expectations.

Here goes...

1. For Mang Inasal to bring back Crispy Kangkong to their menu

I don't know if removing crispy kangkong (spinach) from their menu was an economic decision or if there's been some internal conflicts within the company or with their kangkong supplier. But they MUST.BRING.CRISPY.KANGKONG.BACK.
Say it with me!

2. For arrogant people to shine

I'm not talking about "Look at the new smartphone I bought using the money I was supposed to pay rent with" arrogant. I'm talking about someone posting or coming up to me saying, "Hey, see these branded shoes I'm wearing? I bought them for 200 at the warehouse sale!" or "The investment I made worth Php 10,000 which I earned myself has finally paid off!". Now that's the kind of arrogance I can imagine myself getting high on.

This isn't the weirdest entry this post has to offer yet. Keep reading.

3. For free time to get driving lessons

This goal has been set aside for too long. I must learn how to drive before I'm 25.

4. For "so-so" health

You might be thinking, "So-so? Not good?".

Here's the thing. If you knew me personally, you'd know that my immune system sucks. I get feverish after getting caught in a drizzle and my sinus acts up horribly for weeks when I get exposed to dusty environments (No, I'm not just lazy to clean up). So, hoping for good health sounds like I'm pushing it too far.

5. For people to hurry the f*** up when using the ATM

Because what the f*** is taking them so f***ing long to withdraw PHP 500-5,000?? Insert card, push buttons, read, push buttons, read, enter PIN, push buttons, take card, pocket money, get receipt, then disappear from everyone's sight. How f***ing hard is that to do? Does one need an IQ of 180 to accomplish this under 3 minutes??

6. For people to be more content

You're more fortunate than most people. You don't need me to tell you that.

You don't have money to splurge now? Work hard and you'll receive it.

You're in a relationship but the bumps in the road are turning into fault lines? Either end it or repair it together. It takes two to tango after all.

You're lonely and single? People will often disappoint. Your success in other life matters surely won't. Best of all, love yourself more and don't let the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) get to you.

Hate your job? QUIT. Don't allow your boss to keep funding you for doing an "okay to no way" job or yourself hating your job to the point of believing hell exists. Staying in a job you don't like will not just hurt your boss' finances, but it will infuriate customers as well (especially if you're in the customer service industry).

Your friends are only there when they need you? Be happy that they seek you for help, isn't that one of the reasons of what friends are for? You can't expect every friend to check up on you as often as a significant other does (unless your bond is closely knit). And if you're in your 20s, you and your same-aged friends are usually more busy now with work and other personal matters. So don't bitch about friends only messaging you when they need you. We're all growing more as adults now. Teenage drama should be a thing of the past to us now.

Hate Manila traffic or traffic in general? Move closer to your workplace or work from home. At least that's what I did.

Your family is driving you crazy? Move away for a while. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I've proven this to be true back in my office girl days. You'll know it's working when you never want Mondays to come while you're at home. You might even discover more things about yourself while you're at it.

7. For myself to be able to sleep with my cheek on the pillow

If I haven't mentioned it already, my facial skin issues are more sensitive than Kim K's feelings toward people constantly bashing her family. Ever since I had acne, I would sleep on my back rather than on my side like a person in a vegetative state. If I sleep on my side and my cheek even slightly touches my pillow, there would be a pimple greeting me "Good Morning!" the next day.

"Why not change your pillow or your pillow case?"

You won't believe how much I've spent on antibacterial pillows and pillow cases, dermatologist sessions, acne products, makeup and other toiletries for sensitive skin, laundry detergent for extra sensitive skin, and antibacterial sleeping masks just to prevent this commotion from happening. Nothing has worked so far. But I'm working on a schedule to visit a dermatologist again. They have made me so damn desperate. I want my acne problems to go away even before March 2017 starts. Nothing's happening with me on March 2017, I just want them to heal and disappear that early and quickly.

8. For my skills in several areas to improve

I want to improve my skills in writing, blogging, digital marketing, and maybe a bit of product photography.

9. For the U.S. President to fail

I want him to fail in building that wall he glorifies as a "good idea".
I want him to fail at letting people think that his misogynistic ideologies are "okay".
I want him to fail at driving one race against the other.
I want him to fail at having a bad reputation.
I want him to fail at waging wars that take the love out of everyone.
But best of all, I want him to fail at spreading unnecessary hate and racism across his nation.

Unlike other people who pretend like they care about the outcome of the US 2016 elections, I have two legitimate reasons why I couldn't calm the F down when they announced who won:

One, I have friends and family there. If he effs up, I'm pretty sure he'll be effing them, too along with the entire country.

Two, I work for Americans who work around eBay. After the election announcement, several businesses were said to have their market values disintegrate. In relation to the industry I'm working in, eBay fired its product and tech team in India after reviewing its operational structures, and maybe the difference in investor opinions as well. Who knows if within a year, more and more investors would back out from eBay and it comes crashing as fast as it grew? I could lose my job. I know there's plenty of jobs out there, but what about my bosses? How would that affect them?

10. For parents to raise their children better

I'm not saying I've had the best upbringing imaginable, but it wouldn't hurt for new parents of this generation to raise their kids at least a bit similar to how I have been.

Here are some ways my parents raised my sister and I that may or may not sound good to you:

We practice freedom of speech at home

If I have a problem with my mother or my uncle, they would hear about it from me, not from someone else in the family. Traditional Filipino upbringing frowns at this, making it seem like children are "talking back", like they don't have the right to speak their mind if an adult is speaking. If my parents had adopted that kind of mentality, I would probably never had the chance to get better opportunities in life which I achieved by myself. Heck, this blog wouldn't even exist!

My sibling and I don't fight the traditional way

Of course we had been close to ripping each other's scalps off when we were younger. But today, we hardly ever fight. During the peak of our college years, we were later introduced to having open debates that leave us both respecting each other's opinions in the end.

We DON'T have curfews

This is a sensitive topic to most parents especially those like mine who have daughters. My parents trust us enough to know that we wouldn't be out late drinking, partying, doing drugs, or whatever the hell ungrateful children do. We're also allowed to go on sleepovers for as long and as many as we like (as long as the parents of the friend we're having sleepovers at agree to it). Trust is key, trust me.

We were raised to go malling to hunt for stuff to sell, not wear

Until today, when I look at an attractive merchandise, I think about how much I could sell it online before thinking if the color suits me.

We were encouraged to save money in every way

And in the stuff we buy. When we're out malling in search for a particular item, we're used to asking the sales staff the cheapest one they have. We don't leave a store without dragging the cheapest necessity we can find.

We were given identical gifts and clothes

Having different things would pit one sibling to another, so my parents decided that even if it's one's birthday, the other should get a present, too. Call us spoiled, but it worked wonders for us. We have never envied one another.

We weren't forced to study or try hard enough to excel in academics

We weren't raised to be 100% book smart, because in my parents' opinion, academic prowess, doesn't always grant people the best in life. And it's true! I remember studying for an hour or so and then watching cartoons the whole day. I failed my Math and History exams a few times, but then again, I was never really fully invested at the whole school thing.

There is no such thing as "best"

Only better.

As children, we were raised to think of ourselves as adults

I remember someone openly harassing my family on my Mother's birthday. Everyone was in the car and then after a while, only my sister and I remained in the back seat. While the adults were having a banter, my sister and I were frozen in our seats. We didn't know what to do. I cried. She couldn't. She was shocked.

When the fight was over, the adults returned to the vehicle and I was reprimanded for crying. For doing the only thing a child could think of in that situation. Like a child, I hated the lack of concern for my tears. But looking back now as a 23-year-old, she was right. I should've ran out of the car like a Hollywood child star and called for help. Or I could have gotten something that might have helped their situation from inside the car. After that, I shut off all emotions when panic strikes. I didn't cry when a bomb threat was announced at school (I did sprain my shoulder though after being pushed to one of the lockers by someone who had zero chill at the time). I don't even cry at funerals anymore not even when my grandpa went to the light in front of me.

Call me a psychopath, but teaching your kids to act like adults isn't robbing them of their childhood. It's preparing them for what lies ahead.

We were raised to choose whether or not we want a religion

If we were close in high school or college, you'd know that I rarely go to Church. I would go only if the trip itinerary dictated we should go or if someone had died or is getting married. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You can say there is, and I'll respect it. But it doesn't give you the right to judge me of poor character.

I know more ungenerous, uncaring people who go to Church on a daily basis than nice, good-willed people who don't. Maybe it's a matter of perspective? I know we're all sinners here, but having that statistic in my life is already proof that there's not much difference in going and not going. Almost everyone in my family knows I'm agnostic and I'd like to think they respect it (I've never really discussed it openly, I just dropped a few hints here and there).

We were raised to think of others' benefit first

Because shouldn't we all?

We were told not to be scared of police officers

My eyes seem to roll all the way to Antarctica whenever I hear parents scolding their children and saying, "Sige ka, magagalit si Mamang Pulis. Huhulihin ka kapag di ka tumigil ng kakaiyak!" (The police officer will arrest you if you don't stop crying!).

Why the hell would you tell your crying child that they can't depend on a law enforcer? If anything, parents who do this should be arrested for bad parenting. My parents told me to be wary of policemen because like all of us, they can be two-faced. I was even told to look for them when I get lost in the shopping malls instead of relying on strangers to help me find the customer service booth.

Do what I mentioned above, parents. Train them while they're young if you don't want to be one of the main characters in a soap opera where the main goal is to find the lost child.

We were told not to be put off with the subject of sex and death

"You're here because of it. It's only a matter of biology," I can still remember my paternal grandfather say.

We were told that getting married isn't important. Happiness within one's self is.

I often read about relatives pressuring single members of the family about being single for too long. I think it's selfish. If that family member is happy by herself/himself already, why push her/him to dive into something that doesn't guarantee a lifetime of happiness? Heck, the divorce bill hasn't even been filed in the PH. When I see unhappy married couples struggling to at least stay in love (with the man or the woman (or both) philandering), I feel disappointed with the PH government, their parents, and the PH media who made these people think they needed to be married to keep the love alive. It's dumb. Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness for everyone. It's not for everyone.

We were raised to fight back and lie in the bed we made afterwards

Our parents never solved every problem we had. We were raised to judge the situation first before jumping in. So that whatever the consequences of our actions were, we'll learn from it.

11. For every child to be raised not to oppress anyone especially those from the LGBT community

I want to stop hearing "Ay bakla!" (Gay!), "Bakla ka ba??" (Are you gay??), or "Ba-bakla bakla ka na naman! Isusumbong kita sa tatay mo!"(You're acting like a homosexual again. I'm telling your Dad about this!). It's offensive.

I want to stop seeing the scared looks on little boys' faces when they're being threatened with the thought of their fathers berating them or hurting them because of a stupid claim.

I want to stop feeling bad for openly gay people who shrink back to their seats on jeepney rides when people judge them with how they talk and dress.

I want to stop reading about suicides involving people whose parents won't accept their sexuality or the thought of coming out to them.

I want to stop hearing homophobic remarks not just from ignorant children who weren't raised by humans, but from everyone.

I remember riding a taxi late at night in Makati once. I've always enjoyed having conversations with drivers, but this one in particular made all the alarms go off. Let me give you a brief introduction to this self righteous taxi driver. He's in his mid-40s, has dark hair, no facial hair, wears a clean, well-ironed shirt with dark pants and faux leather loafers. and he has multiple books about God on his dash. So all-in-all, he looks really groomed and decent as if he works at a government office or he just came from the Sunday mass.

He began the conversation by asking me what religion I practice. So I told him, "In records, I'm Roman Catholic. Outside the papers, I practice the religion of love and science. Have been since college." He asked me if everyone I knew knew about it. I told him I studied in a heavily Catholic school, so saying that out loud wasn't worth it. It didn't take a second for him to shut me down, claiming I'm the perfect example of a wolf in sheep's clothing, that I was a Satan worshiper. It's funny how he told me what every fiber of my being was composed of before hearing out an essay's worth of an explanation. He wasn't even polite about it. I remember him saying, "Edi si Satanas pala ang sinasamba mo?" (So, you're worshiping Satan?), which I responded to with a small, polite laugh, an internal prayer to stop myself from smacking the shit out of this SOB, and a vague response, "Don't we all have our reasons?"

A few minutes later of him telling me how what he read in the bible are all particularly true (which I respect, by the way), we touched the subject about my friends in the LGBT community. This "deeply religious" taxi driver claimed that he once had a cross-dressing passenger whom he kicked out of his car after learning of her real gender after she gave him directions. Jesus' #1 fan even told me how this cross dresser was similar to me, a Satan worshiper and that this cross dresser was indirectly offering to give him "extra services" if he charged her half of what the meter showed. He could've misunderstood her, right?

"No one, not even Satan himself would be desperate enough to go down on someone like this bag of pseudo-religious crap," I thought. I didn't want to argue anymore. My respect for Jesus' #1 fan is like a ship that had sailed and sunk in a matter of seconds. I wasn't taking crap from him anymore.

Instead of debating how ironic it was for "a man of religion" to say words I can't even think of, I asked him one final question before getting dropped off in some shady area in Makati that I have never been before.

"Do you have children?"

"Yes. I have 2. One boy and a girl."

"Are they happy?"

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"Are they happy?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Why do I have to know? I'm raising them as Catholics, feeding them, clothing them. Why on earth would they feel unhappy?"

I was surprised to be more taken back by his response than him telling me how I loved Satan without me knowing. I could give him ten reasons without catching my breath. But I wasn't in the mood to do so.

"Can you pull up to the side, please?"

"What?? This is a shady area. Drug addicts, carnappers, and snatchers walk these pavements."

"How fortunate of them to not be in the same position as I am." He doesn't respond to this. He was too busy avoiding a crash as he was trying to turn to the right where I had wanted to be dropped off.

Once he pulled up and stopped the meter, I handed him three times (or more?) of what the meter read and told him not to give me any change. I told him it was payday that day and that I was feeling very generous.

"Buy your kids something nice for dinner and tell them I'm very sorry they have put up with you. You have maybe 15 or 20 years left if you don't have any vices. I hope that before whoever it is you think you're worshiping decides to bury you 6 feet below the ground, you'll learn not to use religion as an excuse to look clean. And don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Nothing goes wrong when I'm with my fellow Satan worshipers."

I didn't expect him to shut his trap before and after I got out of the taxi. I had expected a loud outburst and some profane language blasting out of his pretentious mouth while I think of what to do next. He remained parked for about 30 seconds before driving away with no signs of anger. Was he reflecting on what I had said? Or was he contemplating on hitting me senseless with a crow bar? Believe me, I readied myself. I snapped a shot of his plate number, sent it to family members via Messenger, walked to where there are plenty of people, and grabbed whatever sharp object I can find to defend myself. I'm grateful nothing came. I hope this encounter haunts him forever.

I waited for at least 20 minutes for another taxi to swing by. But none came. So I decided to eat dinner at a barbecue stand I found a block away. It was the first time I ever ate so much out of frustration over a man I knew less than 10 things about.

Over to a more personal note, the same tragedy is happening to my family (and more than 90% of families around the globe, I think.)

Every time my nephew comes to visit me and I hear at least one of my family members tease him about being gay, I explode. I ask them a stream of questions, "What's wrong with being gay? Does that guarantee failure in life? Are gay people the source of havoc and cancer? If this kid turns out gay, I'll adopt and raise him alone." And then I ramble on about this latest study proving that there's a particular gene that causes homosexuality. That it's natural and if a parent were to blame anyone about their child's homosexuality, it should be themselves. It never gets old. Me lecturing every family member about not turning my only nephew into some homophobic trash.

"There's nothing wrong about being gay. If I see or hear about you teasing someone about being gay, you can guarantee that I'm not related to you anymore." I never fail to tell him.

If your family members do this, please speak out. Don't let them raise homophobes who have no past experience to defend their homophobic claims. I'm not homosexual, but I know what it's like to be horribly bullied by people who can't accept the indifference I offer, so I can somehow relate. It's not too late. Cure and educate the infected as much as you can.

Final Notes

How was that for a new post after a month-long hiatus from blogging? I hope no one gets offended with anything I've said here. These are all my opinions. I respect everyone's opinions on the matter, so please extend me the same courtesy. Did any of my entries speak out to you? If it did, please tell me all about it in a comment below.

NOTE: I haven't had the time to blog much because of the holidays and the amount of work I had to get done for my online job. But rest assured, I'll do my best to publish something at least once every 2-3 weeks when I have the time and energy.

Until the next blog! Thank you for reading!